just ignore me…

We’ve been out of school for the last couple of days. Sonja spent the night last night, then I spent the night at hers. Wow. We went to Chagrin Thursday night & Geauga Lake yesterday. Fun.

Tonight I went out with Matt and it was the weirdest experience I’ve ever had.

First of all, Jeff and Matt left me at Stow Library for an hour because they couldn’t take me home (they got drunk during this time). Then we went to the game. I was so shameful. They kept sort of ignoring me, but when Matt & I left Jeff alone (he was really gone) I let him make out with me. We didn’t do much, nothing I haven’t done before, except that I…well, I went down his pants, okay? Not for very long, though. Then we went to the dance for a while and that had its ups and downs. But I really don’t know what to think because he was drunk. So I won’t think.

Then Mom had to pick me up from Walsh because Matt didn’t want to drive me home. Fuck. I sat on the curb dejected and rejected, writing Echo & the Bunnymen lyrics on the curb with a black marker.How stupid it all was.

I think I should just forget about it all. When I move west I’ll just have Sonja tell them that I’m dead.