just ignore me…

Fallen into the

Snow White circles

Of darkness,

Outlasting the daytime

This time, I shall begin the new diary on a positive note, because for the first time in weeks I feel truly good. Things are looking up for a change, and not necessarily from an ignorant, pseudo-optimistic stemmed from naitivity. No, instead, it’s from the mere fact that I can change my destiny and find things in others that can’t be seen through eyes filled with hatred. I can finally see things I failed to see in those days when I was much lower.

I went to a show tonight and saw some friends and I felt loved and wanted by them. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. I felt like I made a difference tonight, like I mattered to someone. Nick Remias made a feeble attempt to pick me up tonight, and that made me feel good even though I know he’s a glamour boy who doesn’t really care. At least I know he’s found me attractive enough to pick up, and that’s something.

And Matt’s friend John, who everyone says is an asshole, was very nice to me and wanted to get to know me. I know that sounds so idiotic but it made me feel good and that’s something at least.

If you know who I am, you know how important it is to matter to somebody for once.