Procrastination is the bane of my “existence”. I guess it’s a classic ADHD symptom, but I take medication for that and it does nothing. That’s why my house is always a mess.
I have packages to return to Amazon that have been sitting here for a week and a half. All I need to do is hop to my car and drive to Whole Foods for dropoff. But I can’t….seem….to….manage…it.
There’s an alternator sitting in my dining room. It needs to be installed in the orange Element. Installing an alternator in an Element isn’t a hard job in itself, but here’s how it goes in my head: “The bolts will be rusty and I will bang my knuckles or break a bolt and then I will get frustrated and I don’t want to be frustrated”. Or…”I have all of these fun projects to work on and I’d rather be working on one of these” but then I end up watching air disaster videos on YouTube. Or the classic: “I need to clean the house instead” but then I never clean the house. LOL
Then it’s back to watching Pilot Debrief or Mayday on YouTube.
Maybe I need to start exercising to combat the procrastination. Does that help? I’ve heard that it cures a lot of things. Drugs don’t seem to do a whole lot. Speed makes me tired. Downers give me energy. I have to take a lot of ANY drug in order for it to work. I did heroin once and I really liked the feeling but even while high I told myself “I’m never doing this again”. Then I threw up randomly. I don’t remember what happened next.
It’s a beautiful day today. My friends invited me to a cookout but I don’t think I’ll go. Maybe I’ll go outside and enjoy the day before fireworks later.
just ignore me... 
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