just ignore me…

Life is so depressing. Matt’s a dick so I am not going to call him anymore. I don’t want to deal with it. Maybe the kid with the cellular phone in his car with me. Oh why…..why me??? Continue reading

Sonja screwed over Jeff, but am I surprised? NO! She is the biggest bitch in the entire whole world. She is so conniving sometimes. I am very mad, depressed and other melancholy adjectives. I hate life at Kenston. Just to make things interesting, I think I’ll ignore everyone here. Maybe even Sonja. Still, Ive got Continue reading

Spoke too soon. Matt was being so mean to me on the phone tonight – I don’t know if he was kidding or what. He began pretending (?) that he was only using me and he was putting down my music tastes, etc. It’s no fun. Jeff, Sonja and I talked on the three-way line Continue reading

I called Zak today for homework in Math and I was incredibly proud of my behavior. I was friendly as hell, but ONLY friendly. Not overly friendly, as if I thought about him a lot! Matt seems to be an OK person now. I talked to him on the phone tonight and it was really Continue reading

Everywhere I turn in this house, Father is there. Hiding in the corners. Lurking by the doors. Inhabiting every room I enter. Sticking to the walls like a leech. He’s always dragging me down, he always thinks he’s right no matter what. I am NOT STUPID!! I KNOW what’s right and what’s wrong, I really Continue reading

Sonja says that Matt has a surprise for me on Friday and that it’s romantic. Now I can’t wait. But what the hell could it be?? Flowers? Candy? Sexual paraphernalia? Who can tell? I seriously wonder, wonder, wonder…he’s not really a romantic person. I don’t believe it. I really don’t. I mean, I have this Continue reading

Jeff is a good fucking liar, isn’t he? So’s Matt. Jeff told Sonja that Matt is “just shy”, etc…that he really likes me, blah blah blah. Sorry! I just don’t buy that crap anymore. Shyness is not a reason for rudeness!! Continue reading

No phone call or response from Matt, but I don’t really care that much. He doesn’t respect me anyway. I spent my Saturday in my room mostly. I’m happy here, it feels safe. I don’t have to talk to anyone & I can do whatever I want. The outside world is lonely. No one cares Continue reading

We’ve been out of school for the last couple of days. Sonja spent the night last night, then I spent the night at hers. Wow. We went to Chagrin Thursday night & Geauga Lake yesterday. Fun. Tonight I went out with Matt and it was the weirdest experience I’ve ever had. First of all, Jeff Continue reading